Your Love Never Fails

For so long I would cry when I thought about Justin. I use to sit in my bed and just cover my face with my hands and bawl out into tears. but now I seem to never cry. My emotions are blank, I guess I am still hurting from everything, I have forgiven him, and i will never stop loving him. He has a special place in my heart. I am still in love with him. But I am still so hurt, I miss him, but Im scared to ever try to talk to him. I know now is not the time to talk to him because he has a lot of growing up to do and so do I. I feel like I have become distant with God. I love him, but I use to have this power and excitement when I ever thought about God. but now its just dieing down. it scares me so much, because I want God to be my life not just part of it.

So today I decide to check my gmail, which I never do, but I did. And i found a message from a long lost friend. (im sure you can figure it out) I was completely shocked and nervous. I thought he has accidentally sent it to me. But he didnt, he meant to send it to me. The message was very long, but I didnt want it to end. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I do have hope, but its not much. I want to respond back, but I know I need to be silent.

I have to say through all if this, Gods unending love changed my heart for the better. I use to hate Justin. I did. He broke my heart and said things i will never forget, but then the lord changed my heart and after one night of being prayed for, I started to love him again. I hope with all of my heart that before I leave for YWAM I will see him one last time. God's love never fails to amaze me. I love you Daddy.