2015 New Beginnings

The past few weeks in 2014, was a time and place where Father spoke to me so much about the new year to come. 2015!! Never in my life have I been so sure of where I am going to be in 2015, and what I'm going to be doing. It gives me so much peace and reassurance knowing I am where I need to be.

Most of you know I want to see the world. I wanna travel, backpack around Europe, visit the places I've already seen....the great wall of china, surf the Hawaiian waves,  love children in Africa. That is my heart. In 2013 Father planted a seed in my heart when I moved in the hood with Chels, Julianna, and Kathryn. I learned how I love owning my own home. I learned how to cook, garden, having chicken's of my own. Inviting people over, to create a family to pursue Jesus together.

 In 2014 I made many big decisions, letting go of people in my life who I care for deeply, taking many leaps of faith trusting that Father God will catch me from below. He has put people and circumstances into my life to mold me into the woman I was created to be. I am so much bolder, and stronger, then I ever was in the beginning of 2014. I didn't realize who I was until I broke up with my Ex. When I let him go, I had to figure who am I, and what I enjoy doing? 

I was hoping in the new year to come Father would give me the opportunity to go see the world again. To my frustration,  papa would not say a single thing about me going overseas So many people would tell me, "your young! Now is the time to go travel before it's to late." Father's response to that was.."its never to late." Recently I had someone tell me it's "OK" to remind papa of the promise's he has told you. So I took the time to figure out, what exactly that was. 

The two things he has told me, is for me to not worry about finding a place of my own but that he is going to take care of ALL it. (the furniture I need, the roommates I need, the location, the rent price) The sec. thing he told me is that I will get married, and the man who will be my husband will truly show me the meaning of what love is. He also told me to not worry about searching for him, that He will bring him to me when the time is right.

Most of you know Father God has asked to not date for 6 months, I said yes to his request Oct. 21st and it will end April 21st.  Surprisingly I'm not looking forward till it ends, I'm embracing every moment of being alone and single with Father God. Because saying  "yes" to Him and saying no to men (who have come to me expressing their feelings for me), has made me feel so alive.

There has even been men in my life who I thought was what I wanted in a guy and in reality it wasn't what I was expecting. For example.. I have always wanted to date someone who was not an American. I meant a guy who is from Germany and has only been here for 2 years.  Sounds amazing right? Don't get me wrong. He's a great guy. I discovered, what I thought I wanted was actually not true. I literally believe still to this day, that, that was a a setup by Father himself.

A long time ago, I got a prophetic word, saying I would not marry an American, but someone overseas. In my heart I felt that was right because I have ALWAYS wanted that for myself. So I believed it was from God. But when I meant Tristan and hung out with him, I realized I didn't like it. I wanted a southern boy who grew up in American as well. Father spoke SO much to me after I realized that. He started telling me that, that prophetic word was not true, but instead they were seeing something that was already in my heart. Not Father's heart. He also said, part of me wanting to travel was for me to find my man, and Father has been telling me to sit back and relax, "he will bring him to me when the time is right." I believe Him. :)

I could go on and on about this topic, but I am going to end it here. I just wanna say I truly believe everything He has shared with me. Let me change topics again and switch back to Father providing my own home for me. When I realized he has spoken to me about having a house again, I ask Father.."Lord, do you want me to stay here in American?" The answer was, "YES!" Father begin sharing his heart to me about American. This nation is a dieing Nation. I see more people on fire for God overseas, then anywhere here. God want's to change that. He wants his people to know his Heart and it starts within the body of the church. Being a christian in American means nothing hear. That needs to change.

I had a hard time letting go of my travel dreams. I not only put them on the back burner, but I also let them go. Meaning...if I never get to travel again  I'll be ok. I only have one life to live. My whole purpose on being on this earth is to represent Father well enough to captive people to want what I have. To make His name known on this Earth! That's what matters!! So if he want's me to stay in American for the rest of my life. So be it! I just only ask to see lives changed. I believe that's going to happen. His heart for American is so strong; it makes me want to stay here.

Father reminded me what he told me when I moved in with the girls in 2013. I was in the front yard of our new house, cleaning out the flower bed, pulling out weeds. When he said, "these girls are going to mold you into the Wife you will be one day. living here was preparing my heart for something greater. And i'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about being ok to have a home again, because deep down I miss it. I enjoyed every bit of it. I would not feel that way if I did not say, "yes" to him moving in the hood with the girls and him planting that seed in my heart.

So with that said...I'm excited for 2015!! I'm staying here in American for as long as he wants me. I'm happy being single again. Though I do look forward to sharing my life with someone in the end. I also may take a couple business and  marketing classes at Greenville Tech. to help me move forward with my Photography. For the first time in my life. I know where I will be for a while and I love it!!

Thank you 2014 for being such a growing year for me. Letting go of my past and moving forward to new adventures.


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